Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Broken

Isn't it funny how you put something out into the Universe and it seems that everything conspires against you to make life as difficult as possible?  My goal of living in the moment and embracing the ups and downs of life as they come along has quickly become one of the most painful experiences of my life.  I am a woman who is used to trying to control every situation she is in and true to form soul crushing obstacles have come into the lives of people I love and I can do absolutely nothing about it.  The pain and helplessness that comes from being unable to alleviate even the smallest amount of pain is crushing.  I realize that this sounds a little self indulgent but my purpose in putting this out there is not to win sympathy for myself.  My purpose tonight is two-fold.  One is to acknowledge to myself that I can not fix everything and the second is to express to those I love who are struggling through rough times in their lives my sincere love and support.  Let's face it, I will still struggle with feelings of inadequacy and helplessness because this is me we are talking about but I am going to do everything in my power to put my own issues aside and become the support system you truly deserve. 

1 comment:

  1. I suppose what I was trying to say in the middle of the night was that I regret the pain people have to go through and wish I could take away. That sounds so much better than my self-indulgent thoughts of last night.

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