End of 2010
Another year is coming to an end and for the first time I am actually looking forward to the new year. 2010 was simply not my year. I am still unemployed (good times!!) and I had a bevy of health issues. There is still no employment on the horizon but I am beginning to feel more optimistic. I am beginning to understand that my lack of employment was truly a blessing from the Lord. I have had lots of personal issues that have required so much time and attention over the last year that it would have been nearly impossible to work. I am thankful to have had health insurance over the last year so the monetary burden has certainly been lightened.
Christmas was an interesting time of pain and reflection this year. The Christmas season is a time for us to celebrate life and especially the life of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Early Christmas morning a dear friend of mine lost his mother unexpectedly. She was only 58 and her death has left a huge hole in their family and community. I have spent great deal of time reflecting on her life and the impact she had on the people around her and have found myself lacking. Her son has expressed to me many times over the last week how many people have shared in his grief over her loss. Like most things in my life I have somehow found a way to make this all about me. :) Okay, not really but it has taught me a valuable lesson that by 33 you would have thought I would have figured out. I need to embrace life and live it to the fullest. You don't know how much time you have on Earth and more importantly you don't know who's life you are touching. One of my resolutions for 2011 is to learn to live outside of myself. I am going to make sure that my loved ones know that I love them. I am going to give of myself not just physically but emotionally as well. That being said, I love you Paul and hope you and your father are able to find some peace.
Another resolution I have for the new year is to learn to live in the moment. I am a planner and obsessor (the OCD diagnosis was no surprise) by nature and this has ruined many a relationship. This year I am going to appreciate everyday and learn to be grateful for the people and experiences in my life. This may sound simple to some of you but trust me, it may be one of the biggest struggles of my life. I may need a reminder or two over the next little while to take a deep breath and enjoy my surrounding.
Lastly, I am going to fully appreciate the woman that I am. I have an incredible life and have been so blessed. I am able to make decisions for myself and those decisions are mine alone. I don't have to do anything just because others think I should. Embrace this thought Grames and you will be a much happier woman.
I have made a few other personal resolutions that are not appropriate for throwing out into the blogosphere but know that I am truly excited for 2011 but more importantly I am excited for today!!
